Good week for:
1. Vegetarians, after 260,000 pounds of beef and chicken were recalled for contamination with a potentially deadly bacteria, Listeria monocyotogenes. Veggie burgers have never tasted so good!
2. "Beauty", a wounded bald eagle that had its beak shot off a few years ago and was found starving to death in 2005. After being rescued and hand-fed for 2 years, scientist have designed and crafted Beauty a prosthetic beak. They will attempt to attach it next month. Of note, it is against the law to shoot a bald eagle...hear that Dick Cheney?
3. Flying slower, as airlines have determined that decreasing the flight speed by only 10 MPH, saves between $13-20 million per year in fuel costs. This makes it a bad week for passengers who will have to remain in the cramped confines of coach for about 8 more minutes, on average, on a trans-Atlantic flight.
Bad week for:
1. Going back on your word, as Cardinal Egan was furious with Rudy Giuliani for taking Communion during a Mass celebrated by Pope Benedict XVI on April 19th at St. Patrick's Cathedral, despite a previous agreement between the Church and Mr. Giuliani in 2000 to not receive the sacrament because of his "well-known support of abortion". Rudy has had a tough year when the number of delegates he received equals the number of times he was admonished by the Church.
2. Eight Belles, the 2nd place finisher in the Kentucky Derby, who broke both her ankles after she crossed the finish line. She had to be euthanized on the track.
Horses are bred for speed. Unfortunately their bones and tiny little ankles just have not adapted to endure the stress of the racing at high speeds with the weight of the high muscle mass.
3. Overactive bladders, after researchers found that people taking prescription drugs for bladder dysfunction, allergies, and high blood pressure that block the neurotransmitter acetylcholine experience a more rapid decline in cognitive function than adults of similar age not on these medications. (it makes sense because drugs used to treat Alzheimer's, although only mildly effective, INCREASE acetylcholine levels in the brain).
I actually took some loratadine today for my allergies...I hope it dows noet ajgffecbt m&e toooosdooo mujdch...caguya jgo138nm he$pgyp mguh?